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Wednesday, 6 July 2005
Life is a beach
Mood:
 not sure
Now Playing: Dog walker!
Topic: Random
Today I took my dog out for a ride to the local beaches. As he splashed and played in motor oil and sludge-like water, I realized how rather morbid and gross animals can be. I called out to him and he came running up to me with a rather mauled looking bird in his jaws. He shook his head violently, playing with his half-dead little critter. A few kids on the beach noticed and started to move further down the beach, finding that my dog was "scary" and possibly "deadly".
I looked at my dog then and said “ Like dog, like owner.” My dog merely blinked and went back to brutally slaughtering and butchering the poor bird. I leaned against my car by the beach, probably being the only one who would wear a pair of holed-jeans and a sweater. The haze of the afternoon kept me company until a older guy came over and sat down beside me. He looked over to me and said “ Not much of a beach bum, are ye?” I couldn’t help but snicker and look over at him. “ Eh, sand sucks, “ I said. We really didn’t talk much, but he was pleasant, and just as he came, he left.
The ferry came and I loaded snickers back in my car, so we could go and take a small ride to the small village of Oxford. I looped back home and then laid out in the grass. My dog came up to me and affectionately nuzzled me, trying to get me to give him a belly rub. I obliged him and went inside to type this up. I didn’t once think about the guy until I sat down here…
Posted by Jesse K.
at 5:53 PM EDT
Part II
Mood:
 crushed out
Topic: The Man Boy
I am sick to death with this situation.
I really want to ask this guy out. He is so cool and so sweet, but I don't know if he is just pretending to be nice or just really awkward.(sp)
I sent him a txt message last night saying:
"Hey, call me when you get this, I got something to ask you."
I didn't get a phone call yet. I really am confused on what to do. If anyone really knows, email me @
geekygamer06@msn.com I desperately need advice.
Posted by Jesse K.
at 12:59 PM EDT
The bitch from hell
Mood:
 irritated
Topic: My Mother
My mother is a bitch. Its normal for most teenaged girls to say this, but for me, there is more. She is drunk on a nightly basis and has no real emotions toward me. She tells me almost daily that she hates me and she never trusts me enough to let me go out. My father, on the other hand, is a gentle guy who really tries to help the situation. He can't be around all the time, so it really really sucks...
A while ago she made me break up with my long time boyfriend, so we had to date in secret. Then, she was irate when I confessed to seeing him.
She is a stupid woman. Her job is her life, and that is about it. There is no "family" for her. Only a group of people that just do what they must to survive.
Posted by Jesse K.
at 12:54 PM EDT
Tuesday, 5 July 2005
My on going Man-Boy problems
Mood:
 don't ask
Now Playing: Confused??
Okay, over the past few days, I have been trying to go out with this guy, but trouble has been following me since then.
Firstly, I find out that this guy that I wish to try and date has this thing about girls. He is a bit shy and I don't think he wants to make the first move, even though I give him every chance. Its not the end of the world that he is shy, but it is kind of hard when I can't muster the courage to ask him.
To add more problems into this whole~ lets try to make a relationship~ I can now not talk to one of my bestfriends about this (because he is my ex and it offends him). So here this is in my blog.
I was thinking about just going lesbo and see what that is like, but then I though to myself that that may be the worst thing that I can do, since I don't really like girls...Infact, my only friend that is a girl, is like me for the most part.
So, being a lesbian would not work, not even a little bit. I think I am going to blow up with my horniness though. My vagina groans for its man-meat.
So back at the topic at hand, I need to get laid or else I am going to fall over and rust. I can't take this anymore!!! I admit, I sould slutty, but I am not. I used to have only one partner, and I was planning on keeping it that way...But then HE DUMPED ME! (Fuck head....That topic is so hard on me.)Anyway...I am just a Nympho. It is like an addiction. I want sex like all the time now.
Oh well, maybe I will eventually get hooked up with this guy and be able to get what I want. Maybe I will be able to work on my relation ship problems! Yay!
Posted by Jesse K.
at 12:08 PM EDT
Saturday, 2 July 2005
To start
Mood:
 amorous
Now Playing: Eh...
Topic: My past three weeks
My past three weeks have been the worst I have had since middle school. (To put it in view: I was a dorky, lonely girl, until I got boobs and guys figured out what a vagina was.) My Boyfriend/fiancee/practically husband decided that he wanted to just be friends with me. When I tried to ask "why?" or " what did I do?" I would get vague answers or " It's NOT YOU! Damn it! I just..." and then the bullshit began.
First, he told me that he didn't want a girlfriend or anything emotionally straining this year. Then, he asks a 'hott' girl ( I find this girl to be bland and rather boring but, all the guys I have spoken with say she is hott.) out for a date some time in the near future.
Naturally, I looked at my own self when I heard about this. My personal appearance wasn't that bad for him...my personality was rather lacking in the jesting and sarcasm it once had, but that is only because I have been stressed out.
After all of the bullshit or trying to figure out what I did (because I am such a girl when it comes to this stuff. That and I worry too much...), I looked back at the boy, I realized it wasn't my fault at all. The only thing I did was give him a boost of confidence.
Now, my ex and I are still friends, and I seek advice from him sometimes. He wanted me to promise him that I will show up in front of Jin Jin's when I am 25 if I am not married by then... The thing is, I don't think I really want to. I mean, he is a great guy, and a good friend, but I refuse to put myself through that same bullshit that he dished out on that Wednesday morning.
Earlier this fucking week, I find that my personal computer was improperly put together and that there was a virus on it. So, now I borrow my mother's so I can upkeep this blog. I am so fucking pissed about this. I mean, $2,000 dollars, my hard earned money, wasted on some piece of shit Compaq that just expired its warranty ONLY A MONTH AGO! So vent all my aggressions, I shall be having a computer bashing party, where friends of mine can come and kill my computer.
I am so fucking horny~ Perhaps I will masturbate...
Posted by Jesse K.
at 10:03 AM EDT
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